I am going to fucking Burning Man!!!

Hell yeah! Through the awesomeness of eplaya I have been gifted with an all expenses paid trip to the playa. I just gotta get my ass to Vegas. I think I can do that. I am awed and amazed at the kindness I have been shown in the last week. There are no words...

Loving My New Home and Friends

We are settled into our new apartment and though we have been together a long time this is the first time we've lived together. I am happy to say that though there are learning experiences and adjustments that all is pretty much going well. Great even. My son has improved so much with his ADD meds and he loves his new school. So do we. He loves having me around full time now too. We all do. Health and money-wise though has been a stress. We poured everything we had into this move and my health taking a dive didn't help. Then my car broke down last week. I literally felt like I was trapped under a mountain of shit. In one day everything turned around. Some of my very good friends rallied and raised the money to fix my car. I still haven't quite processed this generosity. I am overwhelmed and so very grateful. I feel lucky and blessed and part of something bigger in this universe. My faith has been restored. I can see the Karma tattoo on my right wrist winking at me as I type this. What goes around comes around. Always know that the good you put out into the world really does come back to you eventually. Everything makes a difference. Namaste my friends.

Ups and Downs

Life has been a bitch lately and so have I. The mood swings are all over because I am in so much pain, missing sleep, and stressed about moving. I want to move and am excited but it still puts a lot of stress on me physically and mentally to prep.

I also just received bad news about my healthcare. The premiums, deductible, co-pays, and cost of meds are going up; co-insurance has been added; and more limits have been placed on how and where I receive treatment. I can't afford it. It literally bumps my monthly medical costs to over $1000.

The government talks about healthcare reform but the only reform we need is rules placed on the crooked insurance companies that rip everyone off.

Jeff and my step-son are the bright shining spots in an otherwise shitty time right now. We are all so excited to finally have our own place and finally have the opportunity to be a real family together. This makes me so happy I have no words.

Our place is beautiful and I am so grateful that Jeff is so involved and working so hard to make this happen for us. Even with the health problems and money worries he makes me feel like the luckiest person ever.

New Beginnings

After patiently waiting for 5 years the time has come when I get to finally have a place of my own shared with my love and his son. I am so ridiculously happy. We are getting a beautiful apartment in a gated community with all the amenities and utilities included.

I have been in raptures thinking of all the things I can do with my own kitchen again. I am also saving up and finally buying that Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer in Aqua Blue that I've always wanted.

We've already bought new bedding and are currently furniture shopping. My love has such great and similar tastes that planning has been such a pleasure. To finally have a home we can share and be proud of is going to be momentous for us. It's all so exciting!

And the best thing? Our son will finally be in a decent school and getting the education we want for him. He is excited too, so cute!

Strike Against SOPA and Censorship

Woh- the internet is rising up to stop SOPA, PIPA and Internet Censorship. Write Congress today: http://sopastrike.com/strike via @fightfortheftr

Dangers of Holding In Your Emotions

Dangers of Holding In Your Emotions

8 Ways to Prevent Manic Episodes

8 Ways to Prevent Manic Episodes

7 Tips to Prevent Depression Relapse

7 Tips to Prevent Depression Relapse

Goodbye

This is the horror of depression. Logically I know I have friends I could reach out to. I don't want to. Or I can't. It is just too hard. Breathing is too hard.

I know that some of you are going through some really rough stuff yourself and could use my support. I apologise but I am all used up right now. I am tired. And I want nothing more than to be left alone. I love you but I just can't be bothered right now. I don't care about you because I don't care about anything right now. I know, harsh.

I have been used and lied to and sick and in pain...and it just needs to stop. But it's not going to because that is my life. So I am shutting off right now. I am going to be selfish and alone and self-destructive.

This says it all...

I enjoy The Bloggess so much and her musings bring me joy but this post touched me so deeply because I live it. So many of us do.


http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/